February 2012
At the end of concerts
Band/singer: We hope you guys enjoyed your night!
Me: no no NO OMFG DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING LEAVE NO STAY ON THAT DAMN STAGE AND KEEP PLAYING SONGS I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THEY'RE FUCKING OLD OR SHIT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED IN FOREVER YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LEAVING THAT STAGE YOU ARE STAYING I LOVE YOU OKAY DON'T LEAVE ME OKAY DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING BOW NO NO GET THE FUCK BACK ON STAGE NO DAMN IT GET BACK IN HERE AND LOVE ME
Astronomy professor: Please explain the big bang theory.
Me:
Astronomy professor:
Me:
Astronomy professor:
Me:
Astronomy professor:
Me:
Astronomy professor:
Me: Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait... the Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall, we built the pyramids!! Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with the big bang! HEY!
